Is it time to change me?

Are you bored? Here's a nice, hefty read for ya. :)

Let me start by saying I got one hour sleep last night. I have something weighing on my mind & when that happens, my insomnia kicks in & I watch the clock tick. All night long. I fed Mercedes @ 2:00 a.m. & again @ 6:00 a.m. By the time I fell asleep, it was time to get up. I had to have Mercedes at the doctor @ 9:45 a.m.

I fly out of bed & am greeted by a sunshiney Bentley. Wow! Does he look better or what? The best I've seen him look in days. He tells me he feels great, hubby got him some pancakes, & I ask him if he wants to go to school. Of course, he said yes. I told him I would try to get him there but wasn't sure....I had planned on taking him for a dr. visit & didn't plan on him making it to school.

Upstairs we go. I get him dressed for school, get Audi up who also looks better, get him clothes, get Jaguar up, get her dressed, send those two downstairs to the table for breakfast while I brush Bentley's teeth & wash his face. Down we go. I get Bents going on a breathing treatment, toss all three of them Motrin, give Audi & Jaguar some oj & warm poptart & I head in to finish dressing me & brush my teeth. By this time it's about 9:10 a.m. I just don't know if I can get Bentley to school & Mercedes to the dr. in time.

Bentley finishes his breathing treatment, I go start the car, have him load up his backpack & his supplies for his Valentine's party (that I had to go buy this weekend...grr) & I get Audi & Jaguar going on their breathing treatments. While they are on the machines, I put their shoes on & get jackets ready. Then I fly in our room, get Mercedes up, get her dressed, pack the diaper bag, prepare & heat a bottle, go load all that & then place the baby in her carseat.

Ok then. Running out of time. Breathing treatments are almost done, so I cut them off early. Jackets on, baby in car, everyone loads. I count children. Yes I really do this, especially when I am extremely tired. Off we go flying to Bent's school. Park outside the door, run him in & run back out & fly off to the pediatrician's office. Sheesh.

Ok then. We wait. I make Audi & Jaguar a dr.'s appt. for this afternoon just to be on the safe side & have them checked out. We are only seeing a nurse today for Mercedes' one month check up (she got a shot :( ) & we are to retrieve lab paperwork so we can get more bloodwork done to check her thyroid. So we get that done, & head back home to feed Mercedes - it's now about 10:45 a.m. Audi & Jaguar are still looking better than they have in days. I get Mercedes fed, changed & put back in her carseat. I decide to cancel the dr.'s appointments I just made & give Audi & Jags another day. I'll reevaluate tomorrow. I phone the lab to get directions since I'm not sure exactly where we are going. Ok, out the door we go. Again.

We arrive at the lab at approx. 12:10 p.m. They get us right back which makes me really happy. There now will be plenty of time to get the kids some lunch & a nap & get Bentley at 3:00 p.m. from school. The girl then tells me they will be taking blood from Mercedes' arm, not her foot (which is typical procedure). The girl is real sweet but can't find any tiny veins in Mercedes' arms. Oh joy - they will have to take the blood from the foot & the lady who does that, well, she's out to lunch & her stuff is locked up. Darn! The girl suggests we just "hang out" & wait. By now it's 12:35 p.m., the kids are hungry, I have no bottle for Mercedes because I thought we'd be home in time, Audi & Jags are seriously needing nap & not feeling 100%, & I'm just about to get ticked. I'm tired. I'm wiped. And I live too far away to go home & then come back again.

Call faithful husband. Ok. He'll get Bents from school. I load all three children back into the car (why does everyone think this is such an easy task??) & drive off while trying to figure out what in the heck I'm going to do. Find a Sonic. Want to eat Sonic? Yes? Yay! Sonic it is. And believe it or not, I pulled in the "mystery stall" to order so we got our food free! That was good because I was beginning to wonder why in the heck God was so angry with me & continued to punish me. :)

Back to the lab we go. By now it's 1:30 p.m. They are waiting for us - this time two different ladies help us. This is where the fun begins. We go in the tiny room & I get Audi & Jags situated on a chair & I place Mercedes' carseat on the floor because there is nowhere else to put her. I notice one of the ladies bends down & begins to remove MY newborn from her carseat. Uh, no! I'm the mom, I'll do that. I sort of push my way in & push her over while removing MY child from the carseat. I laid Mercedes on the table where I noticed they had cleared a spot for her (since they weren't nice enough to tell me - in the other room I was sitting in a chair holding her). While doing this, I notice neither of the ladies had washed their hands before attending to my newborn. The ladies are talking with Audi & Jags & really couldn't have cared a less that I was there. Um...hello!? I then begin to ask about taking the sample from Mercedes' foot. The lady then informs me she will check the veins in the arms first. Didn't we already do that? Like an hour ago? Mercedes begins to get upset & I'm trying to hold her & console her while the other two ladies yell back & forth about how to get the blood going. Thank goodness it worked. All the while they are being very short with me, like I'm a pain in the butt that I'm even there. I dunt like that kind of treatment. As I'm dealing with Audi & Jaguar, the one lady takes MY newborn & sits her up as if to "play" with her while Mercedes' head falls face forward (down). Steam just about came out of my ears. Audi & Jags are now losing their patience (as am I) & I notice one of the ladies pick up MY newborn & begin to place her back in her carseat. You have got to be kidding me?! The lady has no idea what she is doing & she actually unhooks Mercedes' head supports that are in her carseat while commenting "oh I hate these things!" By this time I'm pretty much calling the shots, using my "Melissa-mode" to move the lady out of the way so I can take care of MY newborn. What in the sam hills was that lady thinking? Why in the sam hills would anyone handle someone else's newborn without asking permission? What in the sam hills would the lab do should that lady have dropped MY newborn or somehow injured her? And what in the sam hills am I doing being ignored & pushed aside when I am the mother? And better yet - what in the sam hills am I doing letting all this happen & not saying anyting?!?!?!? The two ladies then turn to Audi & Jags & continue to coo all over them because they are just so dadgum cute & the ladies give them stickers, blah, blah, blah. After the tacky comments I had to endure at church a few weeks ago, & after the "fight" I got into with one of the nurses at our pediatrician's office a few weeks ago (I never posted about that experience) & then today, I was just ready to get the hell out of dodge. And we did.

I get in the car & phone hubby just to release some frustration. Again. Poor hubby. Someday he'll learn not to answer his phone when I call. :)

So here I say again - I just don't get it. But then maybe, now I do.

Everyone knows what a friendly person I am. It's no secret, I can't hide it, & I don't even try to be nice, I just am. I'm a people person. It's the way God built me & I really like who I am. I simply adore friendly people & I'm proud I happen to be one. I'm always chit-chatting with the receptionists, people in the lobby, people at the store, etc. People typically talk to me too because I've got some cutie-patootie kids. :) People generally like who I am. I always here "oh we just love her!" or "oh she's so sweet!" when others are referring to me. It's very, very sweet of people to say. I really appreciate it & it means a lot to me. But being so nice, as I have learned, isn't always a good or positive thing. I've learned that because I'm nice, people tend to take advantage of me, or attempt to take advantage of me. My friendliness is often misconstrued - "oh, she's so nice, she won't care" or "oh it's just Melissa, it's ok". Which I'm sure they mean in a good way, but on my end, it's not always so great because people think I just smile & laugh all the time (which I usually do :) & don't mind "things" when really in fact, I do. Things bother me a great deal more then others will ever, ever know. I just don't say anything.

I came home, put Audi & Jags to bed & popped into bed myself to catch maybe a 30 minute nap. Like that happened. Hubby came home with Bentley & informed me he was going to take our taxes to our CPA & then he was coming back home. Yay! I can rest some more & take a long, hot shower while he tends to Mercedes. So I laid in bed thinking.

If I want, or expect, some of this treatment to change, maybe it's time to change me. Maybe I need to make a point to not be so friendly, in hopes others won't get the wrong impression & maybe I'll receive a tad more respect. Because as it stands, I don't think I get much respect at all. I don't think people tend to take me seriously. The comments I heard at church regarding Mercedes pretty much shocked me. And of all places...church! I know what they were thinking though - "it's just Melissa, she jokes all the time". But to go somewhere where obviously everyone knows I'm the mother, & my baby is a tiny infant (not that size/age matters), & have others/strangers take control & handle my baby all the while ignoring me/the mother - well - I would never, ever do that! That is disrespectful & for crying out loud, it's not their baby! That is just common sense to me. Does anyone have common sense anymore?

I have decided to write a letter to the head of the lab we used. I'm not going to write it to the branch I went to, I'm going all the way to the top. Probably won't do a bit of good, knowing the society that we are living in today, but maybe they will think twice before they inflict the same treatment on someone else. And that's good enough for me.

However, I have to wonder -

Is it time to change...me?