Not fairing well.

Wednesday I had a little 'surgery' done. I'm not doing good. This sucks! Tomorrow I return to the dr. to most likely have the procedure repeated. I'll return next week. If I'm not dead. ;)

Happy Weekend!

**I tested positive for Staph. Oh yippee! I have a Staph infection (& I won't tell you where - but trust me, a place that you certainly don't want any infection). A BAD Staph infection. Am I freaked out? Somewhat. So this is where I post to get everyone to feel sorry for me. At this time I am accepting cards & gifts. Ha! :)

Cute kids.

And then there were 4. :)

I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE my children! :)

Oh.my.gosh.

http://www.bakerella.blogspot.com/

:)

Spit up.

Mercedes' spit up has been out of control the last couple of days. I am wiped. I don't know how I'm going to do this for a year. It's so bad you guys. Soooooooooooo bad. So far the Prevacid hasn't worked but it's too soon to tell. I can barely tolerate this - I don't know how she can be such a happy spitter. It's just awful!

I just sit here in dismay because I'm telling you - I don't know how this baby is so chunky. It seems to me she is spitting up her entire 8 oz. bottles. But I guess not. You guys would pass out if you could see what it's like here. It's a nightmare!

Off to wash...again. Just needed to vent. :)

**I'm going to try a new formula tonight. I called the Endocrin today & they agreed I could switch to anything as long as it isn't soy. I'm going to go to Kroger - I think they'll have the best selection. I hate to switch her but I've got to give it a try. The last alternative is to switch to a special order formula we will order through the GI dr.

Rebecca, we did try a few different ones early on but I can't recall which ones they were. They didn't help.

Katie, Mercedes weighed 16.5 lbs. on Wednesday.

Wish me/us luck! :)

So incredibly sad.

Such a beautiful family. I cannot even imagine their level of grief right now. I hope you guys are praying for them. I am.

I named him Craig.

My brother's name is Craig. Now my toad's name is Craig. Both of them think they can outwit me & they fail. Neither of them can outsmart me. :)

Did I ever mention I love frogs? Love them. I'll be the first to pick them up, hold them on my lap & pet them. Oh.......be nice!

Let's hope Craig doesn't anger me. So far so good but - Bentley has yet to eat frog's legs. Craig better look out. :)

I'm in a bit of a pickle.

The crib.

This isn't a good photo of the crib, but hopefully you can see my dilemma. The end pieces are solid wood. Both the front rail & the back have slats.

Problem 1 - the slats. Because of Mercedes' reflux, I change her sheet daily. The bumper became a real pain in the arse removing & then replacing each time I changed the sheet . So for the time being, I took it out completely. The other night she was screaming. I beelined it to her room to find a.) her blanket completely wrapped around her head & face only & b.) her arm was thru a slat & stuck on the outside of the crib. Solution to a.) obviously she sleeps with no blankets now (she is way too active) & b.) I put the bumper back in.

Problem 2 - the bumper. The bumper has tonsssssssss of ties/bows. Hard to see in the photo, but they are there. Believe it or not, she can already untie the bows! This creates an unsafe environment because I'm afraid she'll get her hand/fingers/whatever twisted up in one.

What to do? Obviously I can't remove the bumper for fear she'll get her arm or a foot stuck on the outside of the crib, & I can't keep the bumper in because of all the ties. I'm ready to hear your suggestions, please! :)

**Rebecca thanks! I will visit securebaby.com promptly! And I have heard of the zipper sheets - going to check them out too! I actually have that website written down (cloudsandstars.com) - I think I read somewhere Pottery Barn has them too! Thanks again!

Happy Spitter!

Today's GI appointment went great! Diagnosis: Happy Spitter. How cute is that?!?! In a nutshell, Mercedes is fine. Yay! :)

Because she is gaining weight, the dr. said she is definitely taking in more formula than she is spitting out. So that's wonderful news. She doesn't cry & scream when she spits up, so that's wonderful too. He is not concerned about esophagus damage & she doesn't need another upper GI (whew!). So for now he has changed her medication (one of them...ditching the Zantac & replacing with Prevacid) & she will remain on the Reglan. If she improves with the Prevacid, I am to wean her from the Reglan. If there is no improvement, then the last alternative (at this point) is to change her formula, as she could be allergic. I hope it doesn't come to this because she must be on this particular formula due to her thyroid medication. So, we may have to get together w/ her Endocrin dr. Hopefully not. For now we wait & see. He did say that she will probably have this reflux until she is one. I figured it would last longer than Audi's since hers is more severe. Audi stopped spitting up completely at 6 months. But hey, as long as Mercedes is ok, we'll take a year! :)

She's looking at Audi in the above photo. She loves him & out of the three children he pays her the most attention. Talk about a built-in babysitter! He's awesome! Such a shame he's only 4. lol ;)

She is still really horrible when it comes to eating off a spoon. Good Lord. She looks like a pig eating slop. She does better when hubby feeds her. When I feed her she thinks it's playtime & starts blowing her cereal all over me (& typically I wear my glasses...cereal covered glasses), laughing & flopping her arms around like fish out of water. So for now daddy gets to feed the cereal. :)

Kidbits.

Yesterday Kosh growled & snapped at Jaguar. I didn't see what happened, but Kosh has never done that before. So I questioned the source who initiated Kosh's behavior.

Me: Jaguar, what did you do to Kosh?

Jags: I don't know.

Me: Jaguar, what did you do to Kosh? You do know.

Jags: I poke him! But he poke me first!

LOL :)

Today -

Me: Jaguar, Mommy's going to give you a bath after we pick up Bentley.

Jags: Again?

:)

And she rolls again!

She did it again! Now my baby can roll from her back to her tummy. This is typically the 'hardest' roll because their arm tends to get stuck under them when they roll over & they have to learn to pull it out. She actually rolled a few days ago, but I don't really count it because she wasn't yet pulling her arm out from under her. Now she is. :)

She's also trying with all her strength to sit up from a lying position. If she masters this maneuver, I'm going to tape it & win us some money! :)

I'm thinking I might take some of that thyroid medicine! lol :)

Photos later!

**Hey guess what? Today I increased Mercedes' cereal (by spoon) to 2 x a day hoping this might help with spit up & it has! Spit up has been very minimal today! She's still very poor at eating off a spoon but she'll get better. And if it helps with spit up, & continues to help, I may cancel the GI Specialist appointment I have scheduled for Wednesday. Too early to tell yet though. But I'm happy! :)

Off to get 2 more inches cut off my hair! My hair has become Mercedes' 'handles' & it hurts! So off it goes! :)

1.) Ahhhh. 2.) 'Cause she's beautiful.

1.) Ahhhh...

(would you believe I've had that toe ring on 6 years? Never taken it off. :)

2.) 'Cause she's beautiful :)

Happy Mother's Day! :)

Bentley: Mom, why does Mother's Day come before Father's Day?

Me: Because we're more important, Bentley.

Hahahahahaha! :)

I hope you mothers have a wonderful day! I love Mother's Day. I waited many years for my children & to be able to participate in this particular day - now I just love it! It is such a privilege & an honor to be a mom. A pure blessing. A joy beyond comprehension. A love like one has never known.

I hope you take the time today to celebrate YOU. I have no contact with my mother, but you probably do. Just remember that not only is your mother celebrating this day, but you're a mother too & this day is also your day. It makes me sad that so many people I know spend this day running here & there, doing everything they can for their mother & their mother-in-law. What about you? I used to do it too (years ago for my mother, but more recently for my mother-in-law). About 3 years ago...I had a wake up call. Wait a minute! This is MY day too. My mother-in-law got to spend numerous Mother's Days with her children when they were growing up. Now, it's my turn. I want to spend Mother's Day with my children! We still celebrate with her, but not on Mother's Day. I'm sure she's not real happy about that because she is an extremely controlling, manipulating person. Fortunately though, she's not permitted to control my family. And I love celebrating Mother's Day with just my cute little family. I really do hope you find the time to put yourself first & celebrate your cute little family too. You deserve it! Have a wonderful Mother's Day! :)

Non-Moms.

"The Today Show (www.americasfavoritemom.com) has a Best Mom contest. They originally had adoptive Moms listed in the "Non-Mom" category along with Grandmothers, Foster Mothers and others. After receiving countless emails from out raged adoptive parents for being called Non Moms they changed it to Adoptive Moms and deleted all our comments. In an effort to sweep us under the rug.
No apology that I can see or effort to educate the public on the subject. Until the media treats adoptive families like the real families they are... the masses won't take them seriously either. This is an opportunity for us to educate / correct the media and their viewing audience."

Adoptive Moms = Non-Moms. That one speaks for itself.
Grandmothers = Non-Moms. Aren't they grandmothers because they are Moms?
Foster Moms = Aren't they Moms because they are parenting the children in their care?

As I stated in the response to this email, I don't watch the Today Show. I never have. Doubtful I ever will. Nonsense such as this is disrespect & ignorance at the highest. I wish I would have found this site before they changed/updated it. Evidently there was enough ruckus created that they changed their site. And to think, I think I'm stupid sometimes.

Another specialist.

Today is a hard mommy day. Today my heart is hurting for my baby. I'm sitting here crying because I made the wrong choice. I made a terrible, wrong choice.

Today was Mercedes' 4 month check up. Her appointment was at 8:45 a.m. I should have known better than to take her that early because I literally dressed her, fed her her milk & then tossed her in the car. Her little system didn't have time to settle. As you know, she has severe reflux.

At the ped's office her vomiting intensified. I took 5 burp cloths & she saturated all five, & they had to give me a new one so I'd have another. Mercedes covered herself, me & the floor. Several times. I am not kidding you when I tell you Dr. K (a blessing from heaven :) stood there with her mouth open. She was speechless at what she was witnessing.

At that time I confessed that Mercedes spits up/throws up 10 - 17 times almost every feeding. And it's not a small amount. It's massive. We use 20 burp cloths per day. Sometimes more. I confessed that it's hard for me to keep clothes on her, our carpet is covered in towels so it won't stain, I change clothes numerous times, blah, blah, blah. I felt so guilty I felt as if I was confessing a sin. (break here to regain my composure)

A few months ago they gave me the name of a GI Specialist & said if need be, to make an appointment. Before Mercedes was released from the hospital, she had an upper GI. That is when they discovered she does have reflux & they put her on medication(s). She is still on that medication(s). She receives it 6 times daily. Honestly, I refrained from making an appointment because I just didn't want to see my baby have to go through more testing (is that selfish? Or over protective? Both?). She's been through so much. And I know she has reflux. It's been confirmed by the hospital. That comforted me. But that comfort & the false hope of "oh she's getting better!" & having a few good feedings with little to no spit up resulted in me making the wrong choice. Today I was told I must make the appointment I have so long dreaded. Dr. K's words were "Melissa, that is not normal spit up." I nodded. I know. I know. (regaining composure again)

I told K I didn't take her because a.) we know what the issue is & b.) what more can they do? To which she informed me that Mercedes could very well have esophagus damage. She said it certainly was not definite, but it did need to be checked out. She also said they do have different meds they can try, etc., etc.

The good news is that she now weighs 16 lbs. She is now in the 90 - 95% for weight (& 50 - 75% for height at 24 3/4") - Dr. K was completely shocked by those numbers. Mercedes is drinking pretty much 32 oz. daily, but Dr. K said she wouldn't be surprised if Mercedes was actually drinking only about 20 oz. daily considering the amount of she is vomiting (I don't necessarily agree with that because sometimes we do have less severe spit ups). Other than that my baby is growing & thriving & blossoming. :)

For now we up'ed the dosage of her meds until I can get her into the specialist. I hope & pray this will make a drastic improvement. It's extremely difficult to keep her on the right dosages because her weight is constantly changing. But what if we get to the specialist & they find damage to her esophagus? Or something else? How will I live with myself knowing I could & should have taken her in sooner? What if I could have helped her or they could have helped her & she's been suffering this long? It's almost more than I can think about. How could I be so darn stupid?

Dr. K is so wonderful & she told me not to worry about it. She was so sweet & said I'm a great mom (golf claps). She told me this is exactly why we go in for baby well visits. For stuff such as this. She didn't reprimand me & tell me I screwed up, she just said go now & don't worry. I am so blessed to have found such an amazing, supportive pediatrician. I had to go through 4 to find her & it was worth the hassle. I told hubby if she ever moves (locations), we move too. :)

So now I schedule another appointment & I prepare to learn Cook Children's Hospital even better. In the mean time we keep goin' with the flow & pray all is ok. I feel so much better that I typed this out. Maybe I can rest easy now. :)

I have to say they did make me smile - Laura (the office manager whom I just love) asked me if I have received my counseling yet - she knows I'll need counseling to cope with the fact there will be no more babies for me. To which I smiled & sighed & said "not yet!" I mean, look at my Mercedes. Her journey is so different than my other children's. I feel like God sent her so we could rescue her. How could I/we not do it again? Hubby would reply "easy". lol :)

Happy Friday! :)

4 months.

Someone got cereal! :)

Before: :)

After: :)

And this one is just too stinkin' cute not to share! :)

Guess who wrote this?

One hint - it was not me. :)