"So, do you foster?" asked directly in front of my children.
This actually happened when I took Mercedes for her bloodwork a few weeks ago. I didn't actually flip my lid, as the lady tried to 'quietly' ask - but failed. Turns out her parents foster children, so she was innocently asking outing of curiosity. Bottom line is, again, if all of my children were full CC, she never would have asked.
I've got to come up w/ something in regards to how to respond to these insensitive & tacky comments/questions. Husband told me I should simply say "no I don't, why do you ask?" But that's not powerful enough for me. Maybe, for the sake of my children, I should just simply ignore the comment & say nothing. Maybe that would be the most powerful statement one could make. I honestly believe that sometimes saying nothing is the absolute best choice.
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4 comments:
The ignorance of some people baffles me. Families come in all shapes, sizes and colors, and I wish more people would understand that. That being said, here is my big mouth $.02 advice: When someone asks you if you are "babysitting" or if the kids "are yours", respond with this question - "How much do you weigh?" They will get a puzzled look on their face, then you chime in "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought it was time to ask complete strangers inappropriate and personal questions." That'll shut 'em up every time!
Rebecca
HAHA Rebecca...pretty good!!
You know Melissa it surprises me that you get that as often as you do. I mean nowadays it is very true that families come in different colors and adoption is so common. I have never had someone ask that when I have Destiny other than the one time I did share with you when she was an infant and a AA women said "thats not your baby" I was so angry...I mean who says that to someone?? And honestly I hear all the time that she looks like me. I happen to have a very olive complexion and have even been asked many times in my life if I were biracial. Bristol is fair skinned and blue eyed so it is obvious but at the same time not obvious. I mean how would ppl know whether your husband is not AA or not? Unless he is with you but otherwise they dont know. Bristol has never had anything said to her.
It is just CRAZY!! I wouldn't like it either especially being asked in front of the children.
UGH!
I haven't really had much yet with Lily, but I do have people ask if she is adopted.....and you are right, they wouldn't ask that if she was CC. They would just "assume" she was our biological child.
It is weird. It opens your eyes to so many things in this world, doesn't it?
I LOVE what Rebecca posted. That is the best response I have heard so far...you go girl!
katie
Ok - SO I had to chime in as well.... We were on vacation this week at the pool of a state park. We have Jess who is 25 and disabled along with Tim(AA)and Claire (AA/CC) as well as Sam (AA/CC) who was in a stroller. The question of the Day.... " I was talking with your husband and was asking if you are with an orphanage or something as you have your hands full" Why yes I do but they are my family! They are all adopted and Chosen! To top it off she works in the school system with special needs children and wanted to know where one might find such loving families if there was such a place.
I love Rebecca's comment- Once I was in Wal Mart when an old lady asked "Is his daddy dark?" talking about Tim when he was say 3 months old.... My response " I don't know I've never seen him.....*long gasp and pause* He is adopted :)
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