(Posted on Facebook 5.19.16.)
I'm going to rant. But I'm going to write a note. 'Cause it's not short.
Lately, others seem to be concerned that I spend a lot of time on Facebook. Which I understand. I used to notice people who held a full-time, paying position & wonder why they were on Facebook frequently, especially while they were on someone else’s time & receiving a paycheck. Then, I realized, it’s none of my business. I'm not the person paying them & that was the end of that. Not my problem. I don't work a paying job outside my home. I am a stay-at-home mom, to four kids ages 8-15, & no one pays me. Not monetarily, anyways. So if I’m on Facebook often, ain’t no big deal. I’m my boss.
I love Facebook & social media. As a stay-at-home mom, sometimes I literally go 3-4 months without having any in-person, adult conversation (aside from my husband - but he’s the extent of it). Honestly, I’m working on that issue because I deserve & need more adult interaction. I love people, I am very outgoing, very friendly, & life is too short to not share. Enter Facebook. My little connection to the outside, my adult ‘conversation’, via some wonderful fiber optics.
What may look like me being a constant presence on Facebook is possibly just a little deceiving. And I’ll tell you why. We are a family of six. This house does not run itself. I have four children. This house does not run easily, although I am working on that, as well. I work as hard as you do. I start my days at 5:00 a.m. Today? 4:30 a.m. I never hit snooze on my alarm & I never oversleep. I hop up, I shower immediately, I get myself ready, my husband wakes our children while I dry my hair & the day begins. The food in our home does not purchase itself. Do you know how much & how often kids eat? Food buying, prepping & cooking is almost a full-time job in & of itself, trust. The mounds of laundry, for six people, do not wash themselves. Or dry, or fold, or put themselves away. The bills, which appear faster than I care to admit, do not pay themselves. Our home does not clean itself. The large meals do not cook themselves. The kitchen & dishes do not clean themselves. The kids don’t drive, so they don’t deliver themselves to & from school. Three different schools, all three across town from each other, might I add. Errands do not run themselves. Extra curricular, life/school chores & necessities do not get completed on their own. My workouts don’t happen on their own. My vehicle & cute dog don’t take care of themselves. Research & searching for at-home employment do not google by themselves. Add in physician, optometrist & dental visits, phone calls, band activities, dance practice, extensive house problems, family issues, school problems, homework, showers for four kids, life lessons & so on. So when you see me on Facebook, good chance it’s in the morning, while my children dress & brush teeth. Or, after I return home from morning chores & I’m eating breakfast. On good days, I eat too. Maybe it’s when I’m in the kitchen after throwing some muffins in the oven & I grab my phone for just a few seconds of me time & check Facebook. Maybe it’s when I sit in three different parent pick up lines in the afternoon, waiting for children to be dismissed. Maybe it’s while I’m running an errand & I use my phone to post something that takes approximately 20 seconds. I promise you, if I were sitting on Facebook, our home & lives would be one hot mess. They are not.
Shaping four young lives to grow up to be honest, loving, responsible & hard-working individuals takes work, commitment & dedication. Children aren’t born with those characteristic traits, they are taught. I teach them. I have been degraded & belittled for being a stay-at-home mom (among other things). I have been referred to as “just a mom”, i.e., no one. Some seem to think when I quit corporate america, I lost my brain cells. Granted, I may be searching for a few. But hear me - just because I currently raise children & post on social media does not make me less important than you.
I am the heart of this family. I bust my butt daily. I am proud of what I do, how I do it & the amazing way my four children are blossoming. If you know them, or if you have the pleasure of meeting them, you would know they are so darling, mannerly, clean & friendly. I am so incredibly proud of each of them. We make one heck of a team. They are my joy.
I am perfectly flawed. I am realizing others have an issue with that. Please know, I do not. I am a person who strives every single day to grow, learn & improve. I no longer care what others think of me. I do not care what my husband thinks of me, what you think of me, what strangers think of me, what my estranged family thinks of me. I care what God thinks of me, what my children think of me & the memories/opinions they will have of me looking back, & I care about what I think of me. I no longer tolerate disrespect, constant negativity, judging, lying & talking behind my back. People need to grow up & realize their behavior shows their heart. I am tickled pink at the direction my life is headed & I’m going to control it the entire way.
So please, if my posting on Facebook is such a distraction for you, or something you feel the need to discuss about me - please, delete me as a Facebook friend. I promise you, I will lose no sleep over it, as ugliness is no longer welcome in my life. And if I could please make a recommendation - maybe you should try some personal growth & improvement for yourself, so there will come a day when you don’t care how often someone posts on Facebook.
Make it a beautiful day.