I adore the Duggars. I commend the Duggars on how they raise their children. How strong their love is. How close their family is. How they help less fortunate. How they stay true to their faith. How they focus on the positive & not the negative. Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar are not responsible for what their son did. Josh is his own person & 12 years ago, Josh made his own decisions. I do not fault Jim Bob & Michelle whatsoever. What I personally am interested in is how they handled the unfortunate incidents. This is really just so awful. I thought I would just share some thoughts. This is my opinion only.
First, while all of this has been going on, I have never, ever, ever seen one person say "I defend Josh Duggar". I read tabloids, gossip sites, online articles, Facebook posts, etc. etc. No one defends Josh Duggar. Who in the world could? Who in the world would? There's NO justifying what Josh Duggar did. Anyone, in their right mind, knows that. I'm so tired of people saying "if you don't condemn him, then you're defending him!" Nope. Not at all. The acts Josh Duggar committed is disgusting. Violating others will never, ever be ok.
And then there are the lies. The twisting. My God. I know what Josh did. We all know what Josh did. It was 12 years ago. Does that make it right? Of course not. It will never be right. It will never be ok. It will never be acceptable. But really, what do people want? Do they want him to go back to treatment now? Do they want him to go to jail now? Do they want him to lose his family & children? Do they want the death penalty? People are out for blood! Which I totally get, had this inexcusable behavior continued. But it didn't, which even every single victim stated in the police report. When the Duggars realized they needed outside help, when the changes they had implemented failed, they removed him from the home immediately. They got him treatment. But oh, wait! That's not good enough, because it's not the exact, type of treatment 'everyone else' would have chose. Let's focus on the type of treatment & that people didn't approve, instead of focusing on the fact the treatment WORKED! Isn't that all that matters? The treatment was a success! Josh also got counseling, by a licensed professional, as did the girls. They all received professional counseling.
And the "they hid this information! They covered it up!" Really? They told people. They sought help. They contacted the church. And if there's one thing I know, if one has something to hide, something to cover up, DON'T TELL THE CHURCH! Is Josh supposed to go up to people now & say "Hey man, how are you! I molested 5 young girls twelve years ago! So nice to meet you & I hope to see you soon!" Or, Jim Bob? "It was so nice to get to know you. Thanks for helping me out today. Oh, by the way, my oldest son molested 5 young girls 12 years ago. Take care & lets get together soon!" What do people want from this family? Action isn't/wasn't good enough, change isn't/wasn't good enough, apologies aren't/weren't good enough, Josh resigned from his job, the show is temporarily off the TLC - what? Lives utterly & completely destroyed forever?? And ever & ever? No compassion, no letting them live life again, no thanking God he changed? And if you watched the interview, Ms. Kelly pointed out that statistics prove people who commit crimes such as this when they are younger - 90% never, ever do it again. (I can't remember the exact percentage, but it close to that.)
You know what else I really am having a hard time digesting? The language, the verbal accusations, the hate, the tone - all of it - I read from other 'adults'. I'll be honest, it's shocking. And it makes me sick. Everyone is not going to agree on a subject such as this. Disagreeing is ok. God made individuals, not duplicates. But the choice of words, the choice of assumptions, the choice of accusation (there WAS NO RAPE! There was not even skin to skin contact!!) & the downright disgusting language is actually making me click off of articles & stop reading. It's filth. There's no reason to resort to that. It just makes a volatile situation that much worse. And it lets me know that there are soooooooo many 'adults' out there who in actuality, aren't adults at all, & don't know how to conduct themselves accordingly. We live in such a sad society.
I feel so sorry for this family. All of them. Experiencing this type of nightmare hell has to be completely unbearable the first time. Talk about having your lives turned upside down. But to have all of this resurface, in a public, brutal, vicious way, with a lot of the information falsified, is heartbreaking. Frustrating, maddening, but mostly, heartbreaking. When does it end? Where does it end? Will it end?
This is what I know. Nothing will ever make what Josh Duggar did right. There is no making it right. There's just not. There is treatment(s), changing, growing, forgiveness, God & time. And praise God for all of those.
I support the Duggars. I've never met the Duggars (oh how I'd love to someday), but I pray for them & I will continue to do so. I hope their show continues because they bring hope & inspiration to so many who are lost. And now, after this turn of events, they might even reach more people who are hurt, confused & lost, due an incident(s) similar to what transpired in the Duggars lives all those years ago.
We must recognize the fact that good people do bad things. I agree with that wholeheartedly. We must understand people can be truly sorry after doing wrong. We must acknowledge when people change & prove that fact year after year. We must love. We must support. We must help. We must take a stand when we believe others are wronged. We must live, because life is short. But most of all? We must have compassion.
Blessings to you all.
*I made a comment on People.com (their FB page) that until someone actually lives this situation, you really don't know how you'll handle it. You might think you know what you would do, but there is no way of knowing, until you are actually faced with a devastating situation such as this. I think someone actually stated they would kill their child who committed the crime! Anyway, because of the comment I made, someone actually told me I should have my children removed from my home. Oh dear Jesus. People are insane. I think I will just pray & step aside.