Tuesday, May 8, 2012

2012 Met Gala - lets talk dresses!

I've read that the Met Gala is often referred to as the "Oscars of Fashion"; the "Met Costume Gala is the biggest fashion event of the year". Fun! I can't imagine getting all dolled up for an event such as this. So much fun! Today, I was able to peek at the dresses. I love some pretty dresses! They make my heart go pitter pat. ♥

Truth be told, I was a little disappointed! Out of all the dresses I viewed, there were really only a handful that I thought were truly beautiful. I definitely saw some icky ones. I'll start with those. These are my opinions only -

This dress cracks me up. It's like it's screaming "look at me & my two teeny tiny, itty bitty little boobies squished prim & proper in this big ol' dress!"

Ok, this black dress looks like one of those Great Tailed Grackle birds with a honkin' black toupee attached to the bottom.

And what the hell is this thing? A sheet? Is it inside out or right side out? Did some buttons fall off? Is it just a pattern? Does it matter?

The Barney dress. It's really not that bad, but the train's too long. And her boobs are sagging too low. It's such a light, pretty dress - until you get to the bottom! This sucker looks heavy! I can just picture this little lady trying to climb stairs - heaving & hoing with all she's got, pulling that sucker along, hoping she makes it to the top.

Kitchen curtains meets young starlet.

Oh my gosh. This one. Have you ever seen the Barbie cakes? Where Barbie's plastic body is the upper half of the cake, & the lower half is the huge, round, decorated cake? They resemble this dress. Except the Barbie cakes are prettier.

I don't know what to say about this dress. Other than if she would have worn black lipstick, her face would have blended in perfectly!

Now. There's only a few select individuals who can successfully wear what I call, the boob plunge. And she ain't one of them. Getting older sucks, girl, I know. But come on. Zip it up a little.

Wouldn't she look pretty taped to the top of a birthday present? No?

What. The. Eff. Mary Poppins? Layered apricot poodles?

Hideous. Lampshade. Is that a net on her head?

Ok. This looks like bottle caps glued on coasters, strung together, fastened to her undies. And her heels are just darling. Or disgusting.

Look here. I'm sure you didn't notice, but peek at her crotch area. How uncomfortable can that be? Her britches look like the young guys who currently are wearing their pants past their behinds. She thought this was a good look on her? And it looks like it itches!

Hi Grandma! I guess the positive I can find is that her hair color is in the same color family! Um, no.

Good Lord have mercy, more sheets. Honestly, I can not stand JSP. I cringe when I see her. Reasons such as this are probably why. And I'm assuming her beautician was out of town. As always.

LOL! What in the hell is this? The boobless one looks terrified, while the big, metallic one...well...LOL. Hilarious!

One tiny Olsen + mugging of the Pope + hijacking a japanese kimono + dyed their attire black = her dress for the night. So disrespectful.

Now this color, I love! And all is well from the neck down. A little stuffy & safe, but pretty. But from the neck up? Princess Leia, iz that u? Where'z your bunz?

This, is gorgeous. This is gorgeous on her. (Wrong lipstick color.) But the pom poms & black chiclets ruin the dress.

Lace curtains/ lace doilies/mosquito netting with purple grapes peeking through. Yeah.

O.M.G. It's blinding & it looks like a Pokemon figurine. 'Nuff said.

This is ill-fitting dress coupled with pink shoes (?) = disaster.

Excuse me - I cannot refrain. What the fuck is this? Is she blind? Does she have friends? Are those shoelaces?????

I'm confused. Is it a dress wearing July 4th or is it a 8 year's old wallpaper?

One of Hollywood's most famous couples. Him, acceptable. Her? This is the best she could do? What I noticed first is actually the hem of the dress. Doesn't it look like it was too long, they were out of time, so they just folded the edge under & fastened it with straight pins? And the shoes? All of it. Epic fail.

Beyonce. I watched Entertainment Tonight tonight (heehee) & they voted her 'best dressed'. To me, it looks like someone stepped on her train while she was still walking & it shredded & separated the dress.


The more I look at this one, the more I like it. But the train's too long.

Julianne Hough. I really love her. Or I did, until she got a little big for her britches. Anyway, lately, every time I see her, she looks different to me. Maybe her face is maturing? Nonetheless, she's wearing my favorite color.

Beautiful & sophisticated. Divine color. But it looks hot & heavy. And not in a way we all enjoy. Ahem.

Both hairstyles = ew. Dress? Maybe. Maybe not.

I actually love this dress! But the color is too drab. Too washed out. Glorious style!

I also love this dress! Love it! But not on her. I think it would look fab on a brunette - would bring the dark beading out in the dress. Adore the style!

And the few I really loved:

Like: Simple. Classy. Beautiful color. Dislike: Her hair.

Like: So elegant! Dislike: None.

Like: Gorgeous color. Sassy style. Dislike: None.

Like: Beautiful. Unique color. Shiny. Dislike: None.

Drumroll please! My absolute FAVORITE?????

Tada! Jessica Alba! Love, love, love! Exquisite! Gorgeous color! Soft & flowing! Rich! Amazing. ♥

That was fun!

The end.

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