True Tori & my unimportant thoughts.

*As of Monday evening, I'm just now reading that all this could be fake? I have no idea & the thought never crossed my mind. Here's an interesting article explaining how/why this affair may not be the whole truth: http://jezebel.com/did-tori-spelling-fake-a-cheating-scandal-to-land-a-new-1566619409

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I have followed Tori & Dean for years, back when they had their first reality show, back when they ran bed & breakfasts. I don't even remember the name of the show. Somewhere along the way I bid them farewell & only hear about them through my favorite - celebrity gossip. I am a celebrity guru. :)

And now, as we all know, Dean had an affair & Tori is crumbling, Dean says it's "not about the sex" (cough hogwash cough) & to make matters worse, toss into the mix - 5 little children. One with Dean's ex-wife & four with Tori.

I haven't watched True Tori until today. Up until watching the first show, I was feeling is difficult to feel sorry for her, considering when she met Dean & they had their affair, they were both married to other people. It's difficult to feel sorry for the pot, when she calls the kettle black, sotospeak.

Here is the video I watched today: http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/true-tori/video

These are just my thoughts on the matter - my opinion(s) only. And no, they don't matter. :) I'm fascinated with celebrities & am so intrigued with their lives.

*For the record - I am in no way, for whatever reason, a supporter of adultery. I was raised in it. I witnessed it as a child. For years. It's deplorable. Every dwelling has a door - walk out it first & leave your spouse/partner with the one ounce of dignity they have left.

First, True Tori is heartbreaking. Truly, truly heartbreaking to watch & hear. I think most of it is genuine, but I think some of it might be exaggerated a bit to intensify an already horrible situation. Nonetheless, her life is a mess & no matter what, it's an extremely sad situation.

I think there is a lot of 'pity Tori' going on. I think a lot of pity Tori is mainly from pity Tori herself. And yes, she was screwed over. Yes, her life went to hell in a hand basket in one day. Is it turn about is fair play? Because this is exactly what Tori & Dean, intentionally, willingly, victoriously did to Dean's ex-wife (Mary Jo Eustace). Disgusting. It was a choice. And now the 'choice' has been inflicted on her.

Physically, Tori is looking really thin & fragile. It's almost as if her entire life has bitten off more than she can chew. Her physical state, in my opinion, is a little bit alarming.

Who knew? moment: Dean wears "polished toes".

In the video, Dean looks raw. Rough. To me, her really looks like a man that has been beaten as low as he can go. He totally sounds sincere, but Tori says she's heard these words before, so possibly he's anything but sincere. Or maybe he keeps repeating them because the words give him hope. He looks empty. I don't see him as wanting sympathy - I see him as a guy who is hurt & pained with guilt. Is that a free ticket? Hell no.

Watching them at the treatment center, while talking to the therapist, it's obvious their marriage has had issues for a very long time. Tori noticed changes in Dean a couple of months into the marriage & now she mentions not trusting him throughout the marriage, seeing "old patterns" of behavior - wow. I consistently watched their realities shows in the past & I never picked up on any of what they're admitting. But we all know, a lot of that material is not real life.

As the video goes on, it kind of appears to me that Dean is experiencing almost some withdrawals of some sort. I could be way off base - but he's nervous, fidgety, on-edge, anxious - could just be the entire ordeal. Reminds me of an addiction withdrawal.

Now knowing that they've had issues for so long & she was obviously aware that his behavior is inconsistent & undesirable, yet she continued with the marriage & continued to bring children into the marriage - it's almost like, geeze, she knew was this was coming. Praying it wouldn't, thinking it may. Not only did he do it to his last wife (with Tori, hate to keep saying that, but she participated), but it's as if she could predict something in the marriage was going to go wrong. Soon.

It's almost a week after the first show aired. It was just announced that Tori had been "secretly hospitalized" for 6 days, but I think she's home now. Evidently, she filmed while in the hospital. I'm trying to find her motive behind filming in the hospital - why would someone keep production going when something so serious is obviously wrong?

I have no clue what the hospitalization is about, but as of now, I believe it's time for Ms. Tori to put on her big girl panties & step up to the plate. It's been 4 months now since the affair, she knew he was an adulterer when she hooked up with him, she mentions in the video that she was on to some of his undesirable behavior…it's time to turn 'pity Tori', turn off the sympathy, own up, grow up & get this rectified & do what's right for your children.

I'll try to watch tomorrow's episode later this week. Sure is interesting, that's for sure. Sad, but interesting.

Are you watching? What do you think?

(her fingernail polish is driving me batty.)