Thursday, November 11, 2010

From sadness to light.

That is what her son, Michael, wanted for Marie. To see her transform from "sadness to light".

I love Marie Osmond. I watched her interview today on Oprah. My heart breaks & hurts for her. The love she has for her son is so obvious. He passed away in February & it doesn't appear her grief has eased any. It probably never will. She was so strong today when she told her story. As usual, she carried herself with such dignity & class. She is so beautiful inside & out & I honestly believe she is one terrific, loving mother to her children.

As heartbreaking as it was, I tried not to cry today. Instead, I focused on her story & I listened. After watching her sing her beautiful song, dedicated to Michael, I was struck. Struck with one revelation:

Life is short. The future is unknown. The little things? Let them go.

The little things don't matter. The memories made along the journey, do. Marie now has to live with memories of Michael because that's all she has. That's really all we all have.

Bentley not eating his veggies & forgetting to turn in homework? It doesn't matter.

Audi's constant tattling & elevated ego? It doesn't matter.

Jaguar not eating her lunch & goofing off in Kindergarten when she should be focusing? It doesn't matter.

Mercedes skipping naps, rising at 6:00 a.m. daily & frequent tantrums? It doesn't matter.

Sure, those things matter. But not in the big picture. Is it really worth devoting so much time & energy (& misery) on issues that won't last forever? Until today, I thought so. Now, not so much. It's ironic how you can see or hear one thing, & it so profoundly impacts you, that changes are implemented immediately. That's what I admire so much about inspiration. Inspiration is everywhere, free for the taking. It's up to us whether or not we grasp, appreciate & apply the gift of inspiration.

My greatest fear in life has always remained the same - that my children will grow up hating me. I remember, from age 5, hating my mother. Now that I am a mother, I am terrified my children will grow up hating me. As time has moved on, I now have two greatest fears. Add to the first, that I am very fearful something will happen to one of my children. This is a discussion my husband & myself have often. I have informed my husband should anything detrimental happen to any of my children, I will need to be medicated. My thought process can't even comprehend something happening to my children. My children are my life. How would I live through it? Could I live through it? My mother tells me I will, because I have no other choice. Marie Osmond is so strong. As she stated today, she has to be. She has other children that need her.

My parenting is something I am constantly analyzing & changing. Am I doing it right? Am I doing it wrong? Am I being fair? Too harsh? Am I losing sight that my children are, well, children? Are my expectations too high? I am stern with my children. And more often than not, I catch myself repeating the pattern of my childhood. I don't desire to do that. I desire to loosen up. Slow down. Breathe. Play. Live. Laugh. Have fun. Build beautiful, happy memories that last a lifetime. And we do all of those things. But as I was reminded today, do more. Now. Stop sweating the small stuff. Break the rules. Let it go & enjoy life. There are no second chances & we get no do-overs. We'd better do our best to get it right the first time. I am a firm believer that never, ever, ever is it too late. It's never to late to begin again, to say you're sorry, to give that hug you forgot to do this morning. It's never too late to make good on a promise that escaped your mind amidst the busyness. It is never too late to declutter & reprioritize life because it may just be the only chance you get.

Soon after Michael's death, Marie returned to the stage because as she said today, the stage is her "security". Good for her. Good for her for doing what's best for her, & for doing what brings her comfort & peace during such a painful time in her life. I don't know Marie Osmond personally, but I'm praying for her. I would think anyone who loses a child would need & welcome all prayers. I commend her for sharing her story, for finding the strength to carry on, & I wish her & her family love & all the best.


Megan {Honey We're Home} said...

I saw that today too. My heart also breaks for her. I can't even imagine . . .

Bridget said...

So sad for that family, I can't imagine, either.

Emily said...

You show way too much love for your children for them to ever hate you! However, I worry about those things too!

My heart would physically break if something happened to my children. Especially by their own hands thru suicide. I just can't imagine and pray that we never have to!