Friday, October 31, 2008

Too cute to not share.

I moved my mini studio around while ago to try to get a better angle with natural lighting. It worked! I like my strobes, but I don't want to use them. :) For whatever reason, I just prefer natural lighting. I do not care to use any sort of flash, unless it's evening time. And I still don't want to use them then, but really at night there's no choice. Unless you've got a mega camera. :)

I had Audi stand in the new arrangement so I could do a test shot. Is he not the cutest thing? Ü

I dislikes backdrops too (I'm really figuring out what my preferences are). I have three (black, white & turquoise) I'm going to sell (cheap). If you're interested, let me know.

Happy Halloween! Ü

Thursday, October 30, 2008

It's different with her.

It's difficult to explain. Her journey is not like her siblings'. There is no piece of an adoption plan that is easy - but hers is sad. She was all alone.

But when I look in her face, I see hope. I see "Faith". And I see God's unwavering promise.

Unlike her siblings, her birthmother did not name her. The nurses called her "Dusty", remember? Her birthmother wanted her gone. Go away. Just get rid of her. Her birthmother didn't even care if or whom would take & raise her baby. She knows nothing about us.

Is it different w/ Mercedes because no one cared? Is it different because at birth she had to be resuscitated? Is it because her first of three apgars was -0-? Is it because she layed in that cold bassinet, alone, for 3 days before God performed yet another miracle & connected her & I on day 3? Is it because she went thru withdrawals with no one to help her? No one to comfort her? Is it because she had a feeding tube down her nose, & again, no one to comfort, snuggle, love & hold her? Why is it different? Because of all the above?

I don't know.

Her beginning was rough. Hard. Scary. But that's all over now. And I do know she is now exactly where she belongs.

She is loved. She is treasured. She is adored. She is amazing & a true, beautiful gift.

I love the way she still wants to be held. I love the way she longs for closeness. I love the way her tiny little hands grab on to my shirt when I toss her on my hip. I love the way her tiny little fists rub her eyes when she's tired. I love how when she is upset or angry she starts yelling "mamama!!" because she knows I'll yet again come to her rescue. I love the way, the second her daddy walks thru the door, she'll do everything in her power to get to him as fast as she can. Then she pulls up on his pantlegs until he reaches down to pick her up. And then she doesn't let him put her down for at least 20 minutes. I love how she grabs as many Puffs or Goldfish as she can & shoves them in her mouth, in hopes of one or two actually making it in. I love how she has a content moan when she eats. I love how her siblings can make her laugh harder than anyone else. I love her determination. She is a fighter. I love the ways she trusts. I love the way she needs me.

And as long as I can, as long as I am able, I will rescue her.

I hope & I pray that her birthmother has peace - she deserves to have peace. Her situation was bad & she 'got out' the only way she knew how. And that's ok. There is no right or wrong when an adoption plan is made. There is no blame. When the day comes, when she realizes exactly what she did & what happened, I'll be here for her too. And I welcome that day. Some day I hope to be able to tell her I love her & I thank her.

In the meantime, I'll take care of this one. And I will do it proudly.

Below is my Mercedes, showing me at 9 months old she knows exactly what to do when I pull out my camera. The wrinkled nose is new. ♥

I never knew how big my heart was until I was blessed with infertility. I never knew the depth of loving someone until four little people came into my life.
I am one of the richest, most blessed girls in the world. God gets all the glory.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

DWTS - let's be honest.

Susan Lucci. Ugh. I don't want to be mean. I really don't. But I have thought from dance 1 she is just so awful. She's very 'laggy' to me. Ha! I don't think that's a word. :) I thought the last 2 weeks have really proved her lack of talent/improvement. Her petrified demeanor surprises me considering she is an actress. And Carrie Ann? Hello?! What in the world - giving her fairly high scores & ample praises while being so brutal to the others? And C.A. said Susan "came out of the box!" She did? No she didn't. She's off beat. She's confined. She's sloppy. She's scared to death & it shows!

But Monday night. Hip Hop night. I hate saying this - but I thought she ruined the dance for the entire group. I feel bad for her. I'm sure she is so humiliated. I'll try to post the video soon.
And if I see that full-mouth smile, while she says "thank you thank you" & coyly shakes her head - I think I'm going to throw up.

Now let's talk about this big guy. I LOVE HIM! I think I have a crush on him too. LOL I love his personality & I love his smile - it's so infectious! Too cute & too sweet! I love his determination & his smooth moves. And we're finally getting to see Kym's talent. She's really a great! They're a good team. Go Warren! :)

Clotis - goodbye dear. I know her name is Cloris but she's been Clotis to me for some reason. :) I was really beginning to like her because she toned down her mouth & was making an effort to dance. Finally.

Cody - love him too. Too cute. I love he has no attention span. LOL :)

Get well soon Julianne! Ü

Monday, October 27, 2008

The cutest thing ever.

I'm blogging this so I don't forget.

It was the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life.

I am not kidding.

Today my mom & I went to the mall. I let Audi, Jaguar & Mercedes play at the little play area. Cooties...I know. I am so anti-cootie but I'm learning to breathe a little. What's a childhood if you can't be a child? Ü

I didn't intend for Mercedes to 'play' - but she wanted down. I put her down. Off she went like you wouldn't believe.

Right in the middle of the big kids. Big kids 42" & under. :) No fear, no intimidation.

Trying to climb up the slides. I actually watched her in amazement. A 9 month old trying to climb up a slide? Putting her bare feet (won't leave socks on) actually on the slide itself in hopes of gaining a grip. She actually made some progress climbing.

So I let her crawl around.

I looked up momentarily to locate Jaguar - I looked back down to find Mercedes heading into a black/dark little tunnel. I can still picture her tiny tush crawling away from me into the tunnel as fast as she could crawl.

I looked at my mom like "Huh? Mercedes just crawled in that tunnel!"

I looked towards the other end of the tunnel & sure enough, here she came. Crawling out like she knew exactly what she was doing & where she was going.

It was the most adorable thing I have ever seen. And I've seen lots of things. Ü

I would have given anything to have my video camera!

I think we'll go back just so she can do it again.

Can't I just freeze her at this age?

Absolutely precious. Ü

Katie - I know you've been there! We should meet there sometime. :)

Last night's disappointing shocker.

You know I've been so excited about this election. You've read all my goofy & mostly one sided posts. Ha! I have done so much reading, so much research & was seriously considering early voting. I am ready! Let's do this. Then -

At 10:40 p.m. last night I was in the laundry room running a load of clothes. I hear...

Husband: oh no!

Me: what?

Husband: I don't believe it!

Me: what?

Husband: We can't vote!

Me: What?!?!

Husband: We can't vote!

Me: Why?

Husband: Last time we voted, we were in the old house. We never updated our registration with our new address! We missed the cut-off to update our address. It's too late now & we can't vote.

Me: ...silence...

I CAN'T VOTE!!!!!!!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Oh happy day!

I love the photo below! It's just so 'them'. :)

#1 is below:

#2 is below:

We did it! I'm so happy! Far from perfect but not bad for my first try! Really the only screw up I had was forgetting to adjust my AV!
Photos are manual, inside, black backdrop (obviously), with strobes. I like my strobes!

Which do you prefer? Photo 1 or photo 2? Ü

Saturday, October 25, 2008

A productive day.

My first model. He did so well. A true professional. No whining. No complaining. He sat still. No trying to crawl off. He posed. His expression was perfect. He didn't drool on the backdrop. He's hired.

My little studio is set up. Except for my strobes. I'm not fond of lights but the room my studio is in has very poor lighting. I'll probably have to resort to unnatural lighting.

Tomorrow I'll attempt my 4 miniatures. First ever. Doing it myself, rather. All together. With me having really no clue as to what I'm doing. If I can just get one halfway decent photo I'll be a happy camper & call it a success. (Speaking of camping, we were unable to go this weekend because the nights/mornings are too cool outside. Bummer. Another bummer is our tent is still up as we were airing it out (yes, I was going camping in a tent spite what I said) & the birds pooped all over it. LOL)

I spent $100 today on 3 Halloween costumes. Mercedes will be wearing a hand-me-down. I am thoroughly convinced Halloween was created by the devil. Next year there will be a new plan.
Today the kids jumped lots on the trampoline. They drove their battery-operated cars. They swang on the tire swing. Jaguar tried to get in the pool 4 times. Lots of fun today.

Friday, October 17, 2008

This is a shocker.

I haven't blogged because... I have nuttin' to say. I know, I know. Impossible. Ü

I got my car back! Yay! New brakes! Man. You never know how much you appreciate something until it's gone! My little rent car was cute. It was a KIA something-or-other. That little sucker could go! Hence the word little. :o) We were packed in that thing like sardines! We obviously are a carseat family, & that car didn't care. It was not going to accomodate our needs. Mercedes' carseat, of course, had to go in it. Jaguar got put in Bentley's booster, & we sandwiched Audi in the middle with no booster or carseat! Neither would fit! Bents went up front with me. Ha! Yesterday husband went to the dr. (another shocker) because his allergies were literally making him sick. He phoned saying my car was ready & said "we'll all take the rent car to pick up your car, then we'll drop the rental car off." I replied "Ok! Where you gonna sit?" LOL

So...I'm trying to make my days more productive. Incorporating new 'things'. Things that take up a lot of space in my home for nothing. Things that are completely unattractive. Things that gather dust. Things like the photo below. And I fully expect to get the results she displays. ;o)

Yep. My new plan is to get skinny. Ok healthy too, but mainly skinny. I used to be skinny. I never recognized it (another thing you don't appreciate until it's gone) & I never cared. Oh how I know now. Ü You know what I am now? No, not just a weeble-wobble. A fat weeble-wobble. No more. Time to get movin'! So my hope is to uncover my photography equipment-covered-dusty-gross-treadmill & begin using it at least 20 minutes a day. Who can't spare 20 minutes? And from there I want to start playing basketball. Love it. And tennis. No I am not athletic at all, but these 2 sports I really enjoy. Maybe those will get some weight off, too.

I'm also trying to implement game night. Fun night. Or fingerpainting night. Or day. Or whatever. My kids are growing fast. I don't want to miss one opportunity to have fun with them. And laugh. And play.

Something my Jaguar does when her earring falls out. Which isn't often, but sometimes she's too rough removing shirts/jammies & her earring back becomes loose & falls off. She'll hang on to the post, but for whatever reason she chunks all the backs behind her bed. LOL I dunno. Gurls-R-Weard.
Now it's shower time as we're off to the mall after picking up Bentley. The weather is cooling off & Mercedes is running low on warmer clothes. Because she, she can't wear Jags' warmer clothes when she was that age. Ha!
And in case you are wondering, OLTL is getting sooooooo good. Thank goodness it comes on at naptime.

Have a great weekend! Ü

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Because I currently have so many pet names.

I found it so fitting. LOL

Taking Bentley to school this morning, my brakes went out! Thankfully we were close to home so I turned around & came back. We got home & Bentley says "well, I guess we'll have to call the bus!" Ha!

Needless to say today has been no fun! I had tons of errands to run, husband is crazy-busy at work, but we managed to get Bents to school 2 hours late, errands accomplished, rental car retrieved & my car to our mechanic. Jags is getting a cold & everyone is off schedule. Grr!

Happy Wednesday! Ü

Monday, October 13, 2008

Park photos.

I do believe these are officially the worst photos I have ever taken. Heehee. The sun was all over the place + the kids were all over the place + I didn't adjust my settings much = bad combinations. Ah well. Ü

Thursday, October 9, 2008


Driving thru the neighborhood today.

Audi: Mom look! That house has an orange pumpkin bag! And so does that one! And that one! And that one! And that one!

Me: Audi, I think those are the new phone books in orange bags.

Audi: Oh.


He's too cute for words. Ü

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

She had a rough day.

Mercedes had her 9 month well visit today. As you can see, it tuckered her out.
(Look Katie, shoes! LOL Ü)

My precious baby. She is suffering from severe separation anxiety. Would it be a crime to admit that I love it? Love it. Seeing her break down when someone just looks her way, is sad. But the pout. Oh my, the pout. It's too darn cute. Feeling so loved & admired by someone so tiny (& I use that word loosely heehee) is amazing. She is so adorable.

(Remember the "fact or fiction" dilemma regarding her pigmentation? Fact! It's really visible in the photo above; but reality is, the camera enhances the tone. It's not quite so noticeable in person. The more husband & I discuss this, we're pretty sure the same thing occurred w/ Jaguar. Suffice to say, love has rubbed the first layer off. No worries, it'll return to normal. :)

Ready for her weight? 23 lbs. 12 oz. Ü In her defense, this is with a dry diaper (typically she's naked :) & headband. LOL I'm sure they contributed a little something extra to these numbers. ;o) She is +95% in both categories. Her head, well, her head is actually on the chart. Well, not actually her head. Her head size. At the very top of the top line. Heehee. She's a giant! Ü And such a cute one.

I have to say, all these measurements throw me for a loop. Her weight - ok. It's somewhat consistent with the Endocrin's records & she's gaining consistently. But the length? How can she go from not growing in length, to shooting up out of control? The end of August, she was 27". She grew almost 3" in 5 or 6 weeks? Seems impossible to me. I will say Mercedes was very upset today, wiggling around (more like squirming while opposing the measuring :) & the nurse rushed to get it done. She didn't recheck her measurements. So maybe this number is off 'cause I'm sure thinking it is.

Her 4th tooth on the bottom just broke, & her top right is in the process of breaking. I think the top left is right under the surface so it shouldn't be far behind. As you can see, once we got home she was all better. Ü

That's my happy dimple girl. :)

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

My 2nd BFF.

(Find my 1st BFF here. :)

You know what I did today? I cooked a roast. A roast with onions, potatoes & carrots. Yummmmmmmmm. You can just taste it, can't you? Ü

This is how it went.

I got up all Betty Crockery. Oh yes I did. I fed the kids breakfast, got them settled, & then got ready to prepare our meal. And preparing I did.

I peeled my cute, little red potatoes & cut them up. Am I the only person in the world who loves raw potatoes? Oh my. Smother those suckers in salt & it's like gold in a bottle. Ok. Moving on.

I peeled my onion & cut it all up. While I cried.

Got out my bag (yes, bag) of itty, perfect, peeled carrots.

Retrieved my $TWENTY dollar roast from the frig. Can't I like buy a whole cow for that?! Rubbed my roast with salt & pepper & Lawry's. I'm a Lawry's freak. I even put Lawry's on toast.

Just kiddin'. :)

Loaded up most of my veggies in the crock pot. Dumped Onion Soup all over them. Ooohhhh it smelled so good already.

Picked up my big ol' honkin' roast & tossed it in. Then decorated around the roast with the rest of the veggies & soup. It was a beautiful masterpiece.

By this time I was so proud I think I was actually singing. Ü

Turned the crock pot (or 'slow cooker', whatever your preference :) on, grabbed the lid & we were ready to go! Woohoo! Dinner tonight! :)

Except for the fact that the lid fell in the crock pot when I set it on top. I was stymied for a second - I was positive I had the right lid & the right pot. I got a little confused. Why did the lid fall into the pot?

Because I forgot to put all the food into crock! Or the pot! Whatever it is! I loaded up all the yummy food & had dumped it all into the crock without the pot!


But all was not lost. I use these. My new 2nd BFF. Really. If you haven't tried these, you must. You absolutely must.

So I pulled the pot out of the dishwasher, grabbed the liner with yummies out of the crock, & delicately put it all back together. So it would now cook. Properly. Our dinner. Only it didn't look so pretty after the transition.

We had some errands to run so off we went. When we got home, I was going to phone hubby & tell him to run home just to smell the house. LOL You know how good the house smells when a roast cooks all day? Oh the anticipation. So home we went...

To no glorious aroma. Nothin'. That's weird. Shouldn't I be smelling something after two hours?

Over to the crock pot I went & the flippin' thing wasn't turned on. How did it get turned off? Me? Did I bump it? Did I turn it off when I realized I was burning a plastic liner because the plastic liner wasn't in the pot & I was fearing a fire? Oh yea, that was it.

So by this time my language was not so kid friendly. I turn the @$#&%$ back on, but this time on high for 4 hours verses low for 8.

Our lovely dinner was ready @ 8:00 p.m. tonight. We ate Popeye's Chicken.

I guess I'll try to heat it or something tomorrow. And if that don't work, it'll probably end up in the pool. At this point, who cares. We've smelled roast cooking for so long we're all about to hurl.

Hubby is already telling me how to heat it up properly. He has no faith in me. For the life of me, I just can't figure out why. Ü

Regarding the private blog - I'm still undecided. :o) I hate when people ruin things for me (remember I'm now moderating comments but today it hasn't been necessary - still a great option). But, I do have all of your emails. My goodness, who knew? Who knew so many followed my goofy blog? I'm honored! Thank you! You'll know if & when I go private. Ü