I finally have peace.

The one year anniversary is quickly approching. The one year anniversary since I was abruptly removed from the Grace Girls. I'm still extremely sad.

There are 2 or 3 (or more?) girls on the board who still have not forgiven me. Forgiven me for being human, forgiven me for using my blog to vent my hurt, forgiven me after all of my apologies. I just could not figure this out (must be that ocd thing ;). Oh yes, I said some horrible things on my blog. My blog was my escape & a place for me to vent. My vents were typed in the heat of the moment. But I apologized. Again. And again. Why am I not worthy of being forgiven? I've tried so hard to become their friend again. I failed.

I've recently googled 'people who don't forgive' just to see what I could find. Interesting. I also looked up verses in the Bible regarding forgiveness. Do you know how many verses regarding forgiveness are in the Bible? Whoa! I've prayed about this for almost one solid year.

Finally - now I know. It's not me, it's them.

I did what I know I should. I did what I was convicted to do & I take that very seriously. I apologized & tried to make it right. I am now content knowing the fact that I fessed up & made the appropriate/proper/mature choice to apologize. What more can I do?

So now I have peace. Thankfully God revealed to me that there is nothing more I can do. And I smile because now that it's all over, I took the high road. Even after my mistakes. I have no problem admitting I made mistakes. I made plenty. And I then I apologized numerous times.

You can't change people & you can't make people forgive. It's that simple. All one can do is pray & let God do the work. I'm so thankful He informed me that this is no longer my problem. It is theirs.

I still miss the girls like crazy. Who knows, maybe someday I will receive an email. Maybe someday they will forgive me. I would love that. Maybe someday. :)