Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I'm bombing.

I did so good for a while & it's all gone by the wayside. The bottom line is I just don't eat enough food. Sounds crazy, I know. Why in the world cannot I not just eat breakfast? I am not a breakfast eater (unless weekend or vacation). I cannot. I have never been a breakfast eater. Diabetes is confirmed @ 6.5. I'm at a 6.1. I had a long, thorough conversation w/ my dr.'s nurse a few months ago. I was on board. I can do this. She laid out a plan, gave me websites & it was a go. And it went. And then I got out of the habit.

And now, with the exception of a pathetic 4 lbs. lost, I'm back to square one. No breakfast. No snacks. My first meal @ 1:00 or 2:00 p.m. Maybe dinner, maybe not. Maybe cereal in the middle of the night because I'm starving.

I don't need help with anything. Ever. Ever. Never. Ever. But this, as stupid as it sounds, man I just can't do it. And it's eating. It's 8:30 p.m. & I've had one meal today. I just looked at my husband & told him flat out "I just can't do this eating routine. I need help." Oh dear gawd. Seriously, Melissa? Hubby just ran to MckDonald's & picked me up a cheeseburger & fries because it's late & I'm tired & bordering a cold. There a silver lining, however. A sliver of silver (I'm so clever). I am doing pretty good avoiding whites. Pasta, white bread (which I rarely ate anyway), rice (which is killing me because I love rice), potatoes (except for fries, right now) & I'm even avoiding sweets. That said, diet cokes are back in full force. And that alone makes me angry. Most of you know I attempted to switch to black tea. I love sweet tea. I currently have every artificial sweetener made in my pantry. And I have Stevia. Packets & liquid. But the tea isn't working. And I'm not willing to continue to battle Candida just because of tea. So I kicked it to the curb. Green tea, which I've read does not interfere with Candida, I'm still experimenting with. (I developed Candida about 15 years ago, when my dr. (at the time) gave me antibiotic after antibiotic after antibiotic (4, I believe, different ones, in a row) to try to rid an ear infection. Once you have Candida, it's near impossible to rid. Little did I know, black tea & artificial sweeteners (exception: Stevia) kicked my dormant Candida right back into high gear.) I do wonder if this over abundance of sugar running amok due to Candida has any bearing on my near-diabetes? I don't know.

I don't even know why I'm typing all this. I know I'm frustrated, for sure. Maybe typing it out here will help me kick a plan back into action. I know tomorrow is a new day. I know I want to be fit, in shape & healthy. I know I don't want diabetes. I know I'm on the fast track to having it.

So here I go. Wednesday. I certainly am no wimp & I can do this, as dumb as it sounds. Starting tomorrow, with breakfast. Thank God for tomorrows.


Rebecca M. said...

Girl....I could have written this post. I, too, was on the fast track to diabetes. I was overweight, a carb-addicted couch potato that never ate breakfast. Then I would eat late at night because I was so hungry. I would start a diet on Monday morning, and by the weekend, I was back to my old habits. I have been on every diet out there. And they all worked for a while but then they would stop working. That was then. Now? Now I am at the gym 6-7 days a week - sometimes as early as 6:30 am. When I first started going two months ago, I could hardly walk at a slow pace for 30 minutes. Now I run/race walk for at least 45 minutes. I try to eat right, but I don't deny myself any certain food if I really want it. I just eat in in moderation. My BP is lower than it was when I was 20 my resting heart rate (which was borderline tachacardia) is way down, my heart palipatations are G.O.N.E, and I feel like a new person.
If I can do it, so can you. I will walk with you every step of the way and help you do this. I am not a doctor (nor do I play one on TV HAHAHA) but I can give you nutritional advice, help make menu plans, work out ideas, etc. I am just a phone call away. Please let me help. I have seen what a tremendous difference eating right and exercising have made in my life and I know it will do the same for you. It's not easy at first, but after the first week or two it becomes habit. I'm willing to help.....just let me know what I can do.

Rebecca M. said...

Oh, and it's McDonalds....not MckDonalds. Someone has JM on the brain LOL!!!!!

Muliebrity said...


You must check out this site and I will find out the name of the book (although I'm pretty sure it's the Yeast Connection as well) that is absolutely wonderful. Also, if you are not already, you need a high quality probiotic made for women, and lots of it, plus yogurt (Greek) and these are some other yeast fighting foods that can make a difference. My sister has been battling yeast and refuses to heed my advice, so I won't blame you if you don't listen either. :D